Never off the table
by m4manju
Summary: 'Because sometimes you don't understand someone's value until you almost lost them.' Something I thought of when I watched episode 10*2 again. I know many writers already wrote about this one, this is just my take. One part story, slightly AU, where Joey did not stay with Ross that night.


[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]

Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.

Rachel: Ooy.

Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?

Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?

Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.

(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)

Joey: Dude, are you okay?

Ross: Totally.

Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.

Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.

Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.

Ross: No!

Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.

Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.

Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?

Ross: Okay.

Charlie: Alright.

(Ross goes to the kitchen.)

Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..

Rachel: Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me.

Charlie: Bye.

(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)

Ross: Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!

Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.

Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.

Rachel: No, no, it's just that it's getting late...

Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.

(The oven timer pings again.)

Ross: I don't even know what that's for.

(He goes back to the kitchen.) [A/N - lines above taken as it is from the script.]

That evening Ross really made a fool out of himself. First he invited Joey and Rachel for the evening, and had Charlie as well. Second he went too drunk and third he lost it! Really! You could almost feel vicarious embarrassment just remembering that incident. So after everyone left, Ross was alone at his home. He doubted if he could even call it a home? It was just a four-room-construction that he occupied and sometimes had his son over. There was almost nobody else who would visit this damn place more often. His gang-of-friends used to hang out at Monica's or Joey's place. Joey's place which was now also a 'Joey-and-Rachel's place! Was there anything left for him to live for? Why was he living anyway? He was a 35-year old man, married-and-divorced thrice, had two kids with two women whom he loved unconditionally at different phases of life and both of them walked away. Somehow Rachel's walking away and with Joey stung more! Maybe he should die! Yeah right, that way he would not have to bear with more tragedies of his life.

So he got up from the couch, that he was lying since last three hours, alcohol now completely taking over him. He took out a pen and a paper and started writing.

"My suicide note (do people write heading's here? Anyway he was too drunk to fuss over that).

I loved everyone but nobody loves me. So I am going away. Love you Rachel, love you Emma and my son, Ben. Please don't forget me! Rach, wish you have your dream wedding with Joey. Mon, Chandler, Pheebs, and Joey, will miss you all (or maybe not). Cya"

And with that she jerked up from her sleep. Completely drenched with sweating Rachel was almost shaking. What a horrible nightmare! Ross committing suicide? Rachel could hear her erratic heartbeats. She had to see him. She had got to see him, RIGHT NOW!

* * *

Ross was walking down the streets of New York. A city that never sleeps, they say. Even though there were so many people around him, he felt so lonely. He wanted something. He wanted love. But not with Charlie, he wanted HER! He wanted Rachel, and worst thing was he knew he could not. She was with somebody else now. That somebody was his other best friend. Damn his heart, which was not ready to listen. He wanted to tell HER so bad what he felt, that he dreamt of HER every single night, he wished to hold her through her tough times and mind you not as a friend, as HER MAN! He dreaded the day when she would be in another relationship. And fortunately for him, that happened just once, with Tag, none other guys went more than a date or two. He knew he was being selfish and coward most of the times. Maybe that's why destiny helped him so many times throughout last six years since their break up. He said her name at his wedding with Emily, he got drunk and married her (which was her idea), they almost had a bonus night (again her idea), then her pregnancy (right, again she came onto him). It was like he just had to show a little courage and hold more strongly, and they would be together again! But alas, too late now. Or not? Maybe he should just talk to her once. Didn't she tell him that she loved him, even when he was married to Emily?

* * *

She was going crazy searching for him. He was not at his apartment, at least not opening the damn door, and she was going berserk. She ran back to Monica and Chandler's, where Chandler opened the door.

"Hey Rach, isn't it too early to wish us a morning?" Chandler greeted her sarcastically.

"Chandler, I know it's almost midnight but is Ross here?" She said bluntly, not wanting to waste time.

By that time, Chandler was alarmed.

"No, he's not. What's wrong?"

"No time, I'll tell you later." Chandler was puzzled and even Monica was awake by that time.

"Who was it honey?"

"A mess we used to call Rachel."

"What? Rach? What do you mean by mess? What happened?"

* * *

Rachel was at the door of Central Perk. It was too late for a café to be opened, but Manhattan cafes had certain perk about being there.

"Please be here." she was praying silently. If he wasn't there, that just confirmed more on the side of her horrible dream. Him committing a suicide! What would she do? She would have to break open that damn door. Hope she made it in time. God, why was it so complicated?

And he was not there!

* * *

She walked lifelessly to his apartment. What would she do? Call the police? Ambulance? Why did he do that? Didn't he know she could not be without seeing him every day?

Ross was trying to open the door of his apartment, now much calm after that walk and little self-talk. Sure, he would take a chance and talk to her tomorrow. He had to tell her that he needed her, he still loved HER. Just then he felt somebody's presence in the lobby. He turned to see, and he froze! There stood his girl, looking like a mess, still so beautiful to him. Why was she walking so slowly? Wait, was she crying?

She entered the lobby and spotted him. For a moment she could not decide was it a hallucination or reality? He was indeed there though. Alive and safe! Definitely not how she imagined. She felt happy and angry and hurt and comforted, all together.

And when finally they were inches apart,

"I can't live without you."

Both said in unison. Sure they could not. The rest of the world had to understand the fact and also the people who ended up hurt because of them like Emily or Charlie or Joey, had to forgive them too, because with them, it was never over!

* * *

Rushed ending? I know. Just something I thought out of blue. Let me know how was it?


End file.
